Akatsuki Conversations
by Andra Black
Summary: Random drabbles that have no relation whatsoever. Rated for Hidan's crude mouth.


**A bunch of random drabbles collected from old stories that I never got finishing, a couple pulled out from some role plays me and Constance-Lirit have done together. Enjoy and review!**

**"Hidan, don't make me force you to shut the hell up." **

"Shut it stitch ass!"

A deep sigh was all he got in return before a dark tanned hand slapped him upside the head. "You're such an idiot."

"Fuck you!"

"Don't tempt me to start to question my own sexuality, or I might just take up that offer. Painfully."

"That's just fucking sick, seriously." A new voice interrupted them. "Will you two just shut it, hmm? I'm trying to think."

"You're actually trying to think? My my, the brat's all grown up." A bored, velvety voice commented. "Have you succeeded in the arduous task?"

"Danna!"

"Pansy ass!"

"Agh! Hidan, un! Get off!"

"I fucking can't! Kakuzu used his fucking strings to tie us together, seriously!"

"Will you all shut up?! I already have to deal with this idiot and I'm getting a headache!"

"Sorry Pein." they all chorused.

. . . . .

A shrill scream interrupted the memory of her mother's parting words, and she dropped the block of paper and leather in surprise to look around.

"Stop screaming like a fucking girl in heat pansy ass!"

"How can I when I felt something grab my ass, un?!"

"...My bad"

"That was YOU?!"

"Fucking keep it dow- Oh NOW you decide to let us go Kakuzu?!"

. . . . . . .

A snicker turned to a snort, then full blown laughter. They all looked to the blue brute in question. "Were any of you paying attention to how she reacted at seeing me and Kakuzu?"

The stitched up behemoth furrowed his brows for a second, but then gave his own deep chuckle. "Looks like we have the hots for her, Kisame."

Hidan, now fuming with envy, snarled at the two. "Fucking heathens! She was giving me the fucking LOOK too!"

"The disgusted one? Yeah, that was pretty obvious, dimwit."

"DAMN YOU!"

. . . . . .

Poking his head in the door Kakuzu froze, his eyes taking in the view of his partner leaning his back against the wall, holding the brunette in his lap with his hands tugging off the blanket, and their lips moving wildly against one another.

"WHAT do you think you're doing?!" he raged, eye twitching as the couple broke apart with a start.

"Shit, don't you ever knock!" Kisame snapped.

. . . . . . .

"Bloody horse kisser." she silently growled. "Where are we?"

"In a hidden location." the voice answered simply.

"No shit Sherlock, that's why I asked where we are!" the brunette snapped.

Only silence was their responce, followed by the collective shuffle of feet.

Temper rising to its limits Sarianah shouted, "Hey! Mr. Asswipe, I asked you a question!"

"Should we tape her mouth shut?" a new voice enquired.

"No, maybe this loud-mouth will answer our questions without much force." the leader replied.

"Jackass! Who're you calling a loud mouth?!" she piped in anger.

. . . . .

A chestnut brow twitched, chocolate irises crossing stupidly as the brunette tilted her head, stupidly, in attempt to read the demented map from all angles, including upside down, while glancing about to pinpoint any landmarks in particular.

"We're lost, aren't we?" Lilith sighed, fixing her kimono she had put on for a special occasion.

. . . . .

"I don't care if you're human. I don't care if you're supposed to be a guy. I don't care, because I'm falling for you, Sarianah."

I trembled in his arms. Those words, those very words. They were the very ones I secretly wanted him to say. All in just a few hours. Was this the start of true love? He backed away and gave me another toothy grin.

"And you tasted like Jolly Ranchers, Kitten."

I swear a basin dropped on my head. He just flipping killed the mood.

. . . . . . .

"I'm not interested in pedophiles."

He barked a laugh. "I love you already, bitch. Fucking name's Hidan."

Another eye twitch. He picked up a notepad that was lying next to his feet, and. . . Was that a condom?

"Have you ever been fucked? If so, you wouldn't mind fucking with me?"

"AAAAAGGGGHHHH!"

Hidan had to drop to his stomach to avoid getting hit by an airborne lazy boy. "Ho shit!"


End file.
